Dinner In Florida

• Posted on June 21, 2016
• by Jamie Stahl
• in Food Facts
• 3 Comments.

 Now that the dust has settled on my recent trip to Florida, it is time to reflect.  We (my parents and I) arrived in Florida in the afternoon and had the pleasure of unpacking our bags before going out for dinner.  I was almost instantly overjoyed when I heard discussion about our dinner plans happening within approximately seven minutes of walking in the door.  Like music to my ears.

Questions such as, “where are we going?”, “what time is dinner?”, “should I change my clothes?”, “Ma, did you eat a snack?”, “we’ll take two cars, okay?” , “you know where it is, right?” , “we’re leaving in thirty minutes, did everyone hear me?” , “Ma, are you going to be ready?”, “Ma, why don’t you start getting ready?” , “Jame, have you ever been to this place?” , “Are you fucking serious right now?”.

Splendid!  We’ve begun Step 4 and Step 5 of the “dinner in Florida” routine!  (For a step by step breakdown, please click the link to review “See Ya In The Sunshine State.”)

Can you believe it already, it’s time to leave for dinner!  The bodies start getting loaded into the car.  For a better visual assessment, try to imagine 5’3″ to 5’7″ tall snails with human heads attempting to slide into a car from off the ground.  (You’re welcome.)  The human snails repeat the process during the unload at the restaurant and Step 6 commences.  This is where, “some other family members cannot mentally take the frustration and have to walk away from the situation.”

Being the predictor of the dinner events, I must say it was quite shocking to sit in a booth and watch each step unfold like clockwork.  It was almost magical.  I can honestly tell you that I had the previous blog post up on my phone next to me and was mentally checking off each step as it happened.

Of course, there were also a lot of fun surprises thrown into the mix.  How boring would it be if I always knew what would happen during every “dinner in Florida” we had?!  My favorite surprise from this trip happened twice.  Two different restaurants, two different people, two different beverages, one same action.  The classic full glass spill on the table routine.  Always a surprise for everyone!  It keeps you alert and ready for action.  I like to think of the glass spill as encountering a grizzly bear.  You’re just trying to make it out alive.  You don’t want to disturb the bear and you’re senses are heightened and anxiety rises.  You watch the trail of liquid move across the table and have less than a second to decide what direction to go, just like if you were to wake a sleeping bear.  It’s all about reflexes.  “Fight or Flight” is real!  Are you going to sit there and let your pants get wet?  (Literally, from a spilled drink.  Figuratively, from being frightened by a bear).  Life is so exciting!

Want to take a guess where I was sitting during both of these beverage spilling incidents?  Correct!  Across from both culprits!  The exact direction the liquid was flowing, headed towards me like Robin Hood’s arrow.  Alas, my stress instincts kicked in and I took flight.  I was able to remain unscathed in either situation.  Correction, I was physically unscathed.  I believe that the overall emotional damage that “dinner in Florida” has created, will continue to influence my life for years to come.

But, I don’t want anyone believing they are specifically at fault for this.  Trust me when I say that “dinner in Florida” is only a small fraction of the impactful meals I’ve had in my lifetime.  The most memorable meals have really happened in New York…

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