This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: What Happens When Your Delivery Doesn’t Deliver?
On average, seven out of seven days a week I order in my dinner. If I haven’t ordered delivery, it’s either because I’m out to dinner or I’m visiting my parents. I’d say once every three months or so, I decide to cook for myself. The problem with cooking is that a) portions are usually meant for multiple people, b) you constantly have to go grocery shopping, c) more often than not I’m a lazy piece of shit who just wants someone else to cook the food and bring it to me. If there was an option to have my food pre-cut into perfect bite sized pieces and already dipped in ketchup, I’d be into that.
Odds are that if you order in as many times as I do, you are bound to deal with mistakes. Sometimes it can be as minor as forgetting to add condiments to the bag. Other times delivery can be so egregious that you vow to “never order from here again!” But, if you’re like me, the thought of going outside tonight in 28 degree weather to pick up a salad isn’t even an option. You would rather go all in when playing delivery Roulette than take a single toe off of the coffee table.
Maybe I’m a bit spoiled living in Manhattan. (Don’t shake your head in agreement. I’m allowed to judge me, you can’t judge me). I can have all kinds of things delivered to me at any time of day. You want one doughnut? No problem. It might cost $7.00 in delivery fees, but you can certainly have someone bring you one doughnut. Is this a form of abusing the power of delivery? That’s debatable. On the one hand, what kind of person makes another person go to the doughnut store to bring them one single doughnut during a blizzard or heat wave. On the other hand, if the service is available and someone is willing to do it, you might as well use it.
So, the question on everyone’s mind: “Jamie, have you ever participated in the one doughnut delivery debauchery?” No, I have not. Unless you count that time I ordered a single pint of ice cream from Oddfellows in the East Village. It took like almost an hour to get here, but was totally worth it and didn’t even melt! Hashtag Blessed- Am I Right?!
This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: What Happens When Your Delivery Doesn’t Deliver?
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