This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: Let’s Play Hide And Seek With Cookies
I am terrible at swallowing pills. It takes me FOR-E-VER. Regardless of the size or shape of the pill, I have an extremely difficult time getting it down. This has been an issue my whole life. Up until an age that became a bit inappropriate, I was taking liquid medication. Basically, if I had to take Motrin or Tylenol the dosage was double the amount listed on the box because I was too old for the children’s medicine.
Towards the end of high school I felt like I needed to attempt going the “adult route” and began practicing my pill swallowing technique. I can’t tell you how many people tried to give me advice on how to do this. No matter what, the pills always stayed in my mouth until they started to dissolve. Then, a few years ago, I had an epiphany of sorts that started to make things just a little bit easier.
The first rule of “Jamie Pill Swallowing” is to use juice. Water will pick up water flavor the pill is, even if it claims to be flavorless and once my tastebuds are subject to the flavor, all hope is lost. Rule number two is to take pills with food. I don’t mean to eat a snack and then swallow the pills so I don’t have an empty stomach. What I need to do is have some food in my mouth, chewed and almost ready to be swallowed. Then I take the pill and gulp my juice. It may seem odd to have a lump of food, a pill, and liquid in my mouth all at the same time, but it seems to help. I think the food and juice disguise the pill just enough to trick my brain into thinking that there isn’t anything extra. When it comes down to it, the whole thing has to be in my head. I’m so afraid that the pill is going to get lodged in my throat and I’m going to choke and die, that my brain won’t allow my mouth to swallow it.
Hiding pills in my food has become a very interesting job. There are certain foods that are easier than others. For example, something soft like yogurt or ice cream is pretty difficult because there isn’t any other texture to help hide it. Cookies and crackers are a lot better. The hardest part of this whole pill situation is making sure I have my juice and correct snack with me when necessary. You don’t always know when a headache is going to spring up and I don’t carry bottles of juice and boxes of cookies in my bag. This puts me at risk for having to swallow pills without my “Jamie Pill Swallowing” tools. On the rare occasion this happens (I’ve been lucky) I will try my best to put off taking something like Advil until I am able to find my little helpers. Once and a while I am kind of screwed and will have to use a water bottle. It is not a pleasant experience and often I will gag, but until medication is given in the form of a chocolate bar, it is what it is.
This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: Let’s Play Hide And Seek With Cookies
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