Closed-Toe Shoes

• Posted on July 20, 2015
• by Jamie Stahl
• in Dessert
• 3 Comments.

Ugh!  It’s so hot outside!  I feel like I’m getting a heat rash (that’s pretty gross to tell people).  Walking out of my apartment door is like stepping into the gates of hell.  Literally, because it smells and there is so much garbage on the street (Thanks De Blasio).  Why bother even going outside?  Well, this past Sunday, July 19, 2015 had only one reason that would cause me to endure severe sweating and the potential for heat stroke… National Ice Cream Day!

I spent all morning trying to map out a route making sure I was able to get to as many ice cream shops as possible.  Part of my brain thought this was a good idea because I would be saving myself time by planning out each step in my adventure.  The more rational part of my brain thought, “Jamie, you’re not going to eight ice cream places because you can’t eat ice cream eight times today.”

Forever and a year passes by and I finally made my decision on where to go to first.  Armed with a water bottle and sunglasses, I headed outside to brave the heat.  I walked down the stairs to the subway and see that the whole side for the downtown F and M trains is blocked off with tape.  My initial plan was to take one of those trains down to Delancey St/Essex St.  Thought number one: “what the fuck?”  Thought number two: “why didn’t this show up when I was looking at the map before?”  Thought number three: “now where should I go?  Thought number four: “what the fuck?”

I certainly wasn’t going to haul my sweaty ass back up the stairs to the N, R, Q trains, so it was B or D or bust.  I did some quick thinking and ended up taking the D train to SoHo in order to try this super strange looking ice cream from a truck.  The truck is called Play J and they have soft serve in these giant puffed corn tube things (the best way to describe it).  The “tubes” are shaped like a “J” and are hollow inside.  They pump the soft serve inside the corn shell on both ends and you have the option of chocolate, vanilla, or half/half.

After melting away 25% of my body fat, I made it to the truck that is usually located on Broadway between Broome St and Spring St.  Play J actually updates their Instagram feed with information on the truck location so that you can follow along in case they are somewhere else for the day.  It’s a great concept because it’s very socially interactive and “real time.”  People like that.  Thankfully, the truck was parked in the shade, so it was only about 203 degrees instead of 205 degrees while I waited on line.  It moved pretty quickly and within a couple of minutes, I was the proud holder of a giant corn “J” with melting soft serve dripping out of both ends!

As fast as I tried to slurp up the ice cream, the chocolate began to drip on the ground.  Except it didn’t actually hit the ground.  It hit my toes.  My toes that were exposed because I had flip flops on.  I couldn’t bend down to clean it though, because I needed to eat the damn thing.  God knows what I looked like at this point.  Beads of sweat sliding down my face, hand covered in ice cream drops, a long tube-shaped thing being sucked on, and chocolate ice cream on my feet.  Why I don’t have a hundred boyfriends, I couldn’t tell you…

I finally gave in to the mess of a person I’d become and began enjoying my ice cream treat.  It was awesome by the way!  The “J” thingy tasted like an ice cream cone, just a little bit thicker.  And you can’t go wrong with vanilla or chocolate soft serve.  Play J is really a fun way to eat ice cream and definitely a great way to draw attention to yourself.  When the heat slightly breaks, I’m going to go back for another one.  But, this time, I’m going to wear closed-toe shoes.

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