Truthful Tuesdays Volume Ten

• Posted on June 23, 2015
• by Jamie Stahl
• in Truthful Tuesday
• 1 Comment.

This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: No Green Stuff

I’m not a cow.  I don’t like to graze on grass in the pasture.  I’m not a horse.  I don’t enjoy eating baskets of hay.  I’m not a carpenter ant.  I don’t find the taste of wood very appealing.  Why would I eat all of those dark leafy greens and herbs?  For the most part, they smell and taste like a fresh cut lawn.  I don’t care if it’s healthier to eat darker lettuce.  I’m already eating lettuce instead of a cupcake.  Haven’t we already achieved something?

I don’t want any of that mixed green crap.  Aside from the fact that it’s landscaped and not harvested or farmed (that is a false statement) most of the time you get soggy and slimy pieces.  I don’t know about you, but I like to have a little crunch with my lettuce, not be able to mush it between my teeth.  I would like to eat a salad made from Iceberg lettuce and Romaine hearts.  The whiter the better, or purpler.  I happen to like the purple/red lettuce you get in a Mesclun Salad.  I’m willing to eat Frisee and Radicchio, but neither are something I’d ever ask for.  Spinach is a definite no for me, no matter the preparation.  Boston and Bibb lettuce are pretty good options when you can’t get the crunchy stuff.  I do not like Arugula at all.  Kale is the “trendy” green right now and that I actually like.  Not on its own in a healthy way of course, but Kale Caesar Salads are really good!

Don’t put micro-greens on top of my meal to make it look fancy.  I have no interest in baby tree-leaves.  Sprigs of rosemary are okay for flavor, but I’d prefer the little sticks be taken out before I’m served.  If there is basil on my pizza, I’ll pick it off and move it to the side of my plate.  Same goes for parsley.  Garnish is unnecessary and it is just a waste of food.

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