Truthful Tuesdays Volume Nine

• Posted on June 16, 2015
• by Jamie Stahl
• in Truthful Tuesday
• 2 Comments.

This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: Seedless

I am a big lover of fruit and veggies, especially during the spring and summer months.  I pride myself in my ability to pick out great tasting produce and really take my time doing it.  If you are in a rush, don’t come with me fruit shopping because you will be standing around while I touch and sniff every plum in the carton.  It might be annoying and time-consuming trying to find the best tomato of the bunch, but there aren’t too many things worse than taking a bite out of a rotten fruit or vegetable.

I am not solely picky about the quality of produce I select.  I also take into consideration the seed count.  If it were possible to purchase and/or grow only seedless fruits and vegetables, that would be ideal.  And I don’t mean seedless in quotes.  Don’t label watermelon “seedless watermelon” when I can clearly see specks of white seeds through the plastic wrap!  Label it “no black seeds watermelon.”  Same goes for cucumber.  Every time I cut into a seedless cucumber, there are baby seeds in the center.  Is it me?

Now, with some fruit and veggie selections, I don’t mind the seeds.  Either they’re small enough not to notice like the ones inside of a blueberry or blend in with the fruit enough that it doesn’t change the consistency like a strawberry.  What I do mind is when people are flat out lying to me.  That’s false advertising!  Bullshit!  Plus, I don’t want to eat the seeds.  People cut out the seeds from fresh peppers and strain lemons so that the seeds don’t fall into their food.  We don’t want seeds.  I’d prefer to grown an apple tree with seeds than snack on the core parts.

As a some-what rational adult, I am aware that swallowing the seeds of, let’s say a grapefruit, will not kill me.  Nor will it cause a grapefruit to begin to grow in my stomach.  I may not have a Master’s Degree in biology, but I’m pretty sure that a) grapefruits grow on trees, b) your stomach acid breaks down the seed very quickly, and c) no one has ever grown and grapefruit in their stomach in the history of human existence.  Being the level-headed person that I am, I actually surprise myself when I notice the anxiety creeping up inside of me after cutting a grapefruit in half.  For some unexplained reason, I begin to fear that I will accidentally eat a grapefruit seed, which will cause one of two horrific outcomes.  The seed will either get lodged in my throat upon swallowing and I will choke to death or I will develop some crazy unheard of scientific phenomenon and grow a grapefruit in my stomach.    

(I will pause here to allow you to re-read that last paragraph and collect your thoughts.  Please don’t worry about me.  I’ll be okay…)

In order for me to eat a grapefruit, unless it has been pre-sliced into segments (which is the ideal), it is a very daunting task.  I have to make sure I pick out every seed, no matter the size, before I can actually sit down to eat it.  Needless to say, I don’t buy fresh grapefruit too often for lack of hours in a day.

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